Panic

Long time, no write. I’ve been busy, keeping my head down and getting shit done. Or at least trying to. All was well until about a week ago, when my work started drying up.

Ebbs and flows are facts of life in the freelancing game. If I’ve got a bit of money saved up, I’m fine with it. Sometimes I take that as my cue to work on some fiction or just take more naps. But right now, I can do neither of those things because I’m panicking about some upcoming bills.

I’m trying to stay in the moment and not think the worst. I’m trying not to look at God as an evil puppetmaster who gives us enough encouragement to keep us trying hard but never allows us to rise to the next level. I’m trying not to compare myself to other people my age who seem to have it all figured out and constantly yammer on about┬átheir perfect spouses and tropical vacations while I’m scraping together coins to buy milk for my kids.

I’m trying to be patient and know–really know deep in my soul–that I am on the cusp of great things and just need a wait a bit longer.

Now I’m off to do a nice Sunday morning meditation/prayer and get my head straight. But before that, a little music from one of the greatest bands ever to grace the planet:

By the way, today marks five weeks without a drink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s